Hello everyone,
Today, I want to share a personal story about overcoming underestimation and finding the power within yourself to achieve greatness. It's a story about resilience, determination, and the transformation that happens when you shift your focus from proving others wrong to proving yourself right.
There’s a poignant scene in the movie Erin Brockovich that has lingered in my mind for years. The scene unfolds as the Hinckley case, a battle against a massive corporation, is about to be taken over by a prestigious law firm. In a moment of quiet intensity, Theresa, a lawyer from the new firm, underestimates Erin’s grasp of the case and her legal acumen. Erin stands her ground, undeterred by the condescension around her. This moment of resilience and tenacity not only led her to win the case but also propelled her into the pantheon of America’s most celebrated lawyers. Her triumph was a testament to the power of passion and unwavering dedication, even when one lacks formal credentials.
A similar moment of underestimation unfolds in Legally Blonde, where Warner Huntington III dismisses Elle Woods' dream of getting into Harvard Law School. With a patronising smirk, he tells her she’s not “serious” enough to succeed in such a prestigious institution. Warner’s words, dripping with condescension, ignite a spark in Elle. Initially driven by a desire to prove Warner wrong, Elle's journey transforms as the movie progresses. Her focus shifts from seeking validation from Warner to achieving her own goals. By the end of her journey, Elle has not only excelled at Harvard but has also discovered her own worth and potential, independent of anyone else's opinions.
Similarly, my life has been a tapestry of underestimations. Perhaps it’s my humour and quirky demeanour that lead people to question my seriousness. Humour became my armour, a comforting mask to shield the scars of trauma. It was a convenient deflection from the painful truths I grappled with, allowing me to dodge probing questions about my life.
People often liken me to Phoebe Buffay from Friends, assuming that my eccentricity signifies a lack of ambition. Whenever I shared my dreams and aspirations, they were often met with sceptical smiles or outright disbelief. School was a battleground where I constantly felt outpaced by my peers. My grades and reports echoed my struggles, and I masked my disappointment with self-deprecating humour. Beneath this façade, however, burned a fierce determination to succeed.
In retrospect, I realise my struggles were not due to a lack of ability. The trauma I endured in my early years placed a heavy burden on my young shoulders, making it challenging to keep pace with my peers. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do the work; my circumstances were simply much more complicated.
Over time, the relentless mantra of "You can't, and you never will" became my inner monologue, stifling my ambition and preventing me from stepping out of my comfort zone. As an adult, I felt adrift, unsure of my capabilities, and haunted by a pervasive sense of defeat born from years of being underestimated.
At 30, after dedicating five years to raising my three wonderful boys at home, I decided it was time to pursue a career. Despite my scant qualifications, I knew I had to start from scratch. The prospect was daunting, akin to standing at the base of an imposing mountain, but I was determined to climb.
During the lockdown, I began an access course typically spanning two years. Fuelled by determination, I completed it in six months, earning an A and two B’s—enough to apply for university. Receiving overwhelmingly positive feedback on my assignments was a revelation, a first for me. Yet, I remained focused and kept pushing forward.
My first attempt to get into a Social Work course ended in disappointment. Despite having the grades, I didn’t make the cut. Undeterred, I spent the next year volunteering to gain relevant experience and completed an HND in Health and Social Care in nine months, passing with distinction.
Reapplying for university, I adopted a new mindset: I had nothing to lose. This time, I wasn’t driven by a desire to prove others wrong; I was doing it for myself. My dedication paid off, and I was accepted into the highly competitive Social Work degree program.
As I now enter my third and final year, set to graduate in July 2025, my journey is marked by significant achievements. I won an award for highest academic achievement in the Social Work program, excelled in my placements, and secured a job from one of these placements. I have discovered a career I am deeply passionate about.
In my work, I often encounter individuals underestimated by society. Though our circumstances differ, I resonate deeply with their experiences of undervaluation and the barriers they face. As a social worker, I aim to empower them to break through these barriers and champion their journeys.
Self-belief is a powerful force. When no one else recognizes your potential, you must learn to believe in yourself. Once you reach that place of self-assurance, nothing and no one can stop you.
To quote Lady Gaga, “There can be 100 people in a room and 99 of them don’t believe in you, but all it takes is one and it just changes your whole life.” Make that one person yourself.
Thank you for reading. If you’ve ever felt underestimated, I hope my story inspires you to find your inner strength and prove, above all, to yourself that you can achieve your dreams.
With love and determination,
Kat
Love this and huge well done on your perseverance. It’s so much easier to listen to and believe everything other people say than to believe in yourself; the latter takes real work and dedication. It’s also far too easy to put yourself down than raise yourself up.
I always try to view the things that burn me (such as negative circumstances or words of others) as flaming logs that I can put on the fire which burns inside of me, pushing me forward. I’m not sure if that makes sense to others, but it keeps me going 🐦🔥
What a story! How amazing that you first, reinvented yourself after motherhood, but second, persevered during challenges and setbacks to achieve your dream. I never though about that aspect of the journey, how first you might do it to prove others wrong, but ultimately pursue your goals to prove yourself right. I've always been underestimated too, and could relate on so many levels to this essay. Beautiful!