What an enlightening and profound piece Kathryn. Thanks for sharing. It must have been very lonely to grow up without a mother, a father, and siblings. And also very difficult to lose your father without healing the relationship. Relationships are so complex and the product of so many factors and emotions that trying to understand them from others' perspectives can be difficult. In my view, it requires lots of reflection, understanding, and maybe even some humility.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I'm really touched by your kind words and your understanding of the complexities I shared. Reflecting on my experiences has indeed been a journey, and it's meaningful to hear that my reflections resonate with you. Your empathy and insight are truly appreciated. Thanks again for taking the time to read and respond to my piece!
Thank you for your kind and powerful words! I’m touched that the piece had such an impact on you. Sometimes it’s hard to find the right words to express deep emotions, and knowing that my writing struck a chord with you means a lot to me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Oh Kathryn, thank you for sharing such a personal story! Your words were eloquent and your voiceover brought even more depth to the reality of what you’ve experienced in this life. 💗
Oh, thank you so much Amy for your lovely comment! I’m genuinely touched by your words and glad to hear that the voiceover added something special to the story. Sharing such personal experiences can be quite vulnerable, and knowing that it resonated with you means a lot to me. I appreciate you taking the time to connect with my story!
you worded this so beautifully. I can reflect on my own experience and feelings through your words. As an only child of divorced parents, I am still struggling to understand how (or IF) the split has affected my dad. At sixteen I reached out to him trying to have a more adult relationship (no mandated visits over here - just radio silence for a decade) and he gave me his work email. He chose not to be my dad and it doesn't make sense. I feel all your pain and I am glad you are shifting your perspective now. Thanks for sharing this insight.
Barbs, Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your own experience with me. I can only imagine how difficult and confusing it must be to navigate the silence and distance with your father. It's incredibly painful when a parent chooses not to show up in the way we need them to, and that absence leaves a deep impact, even when we're trying to make sense of it.
I resonate so much with what you said about trying to understand something that doesn’t fully make sense. It’s heartbreaking to reach out, hoping for connection, and receive little in return. I hope you're able to give yourself grace through this process—it’s not easy, but your willingness to reflect and feel through these emotions is such a powerful testament to your strength.
Thank you again for connecting and sharing your thoughts. I’m sending you all my warmth and understanding as you continue on your journey with this. xx
Kate, thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot to hear that my writing resonated with you and helped give voice to something you’ve been feeling. Sometimes, these emotions are so complex that finding the right words can feel impossible, so I’m grateful that my experience could offer some reflection for yours.
Sending you warmth as we both continue navigating these feelings, and thank you again for taking the time to share this with me.
Donna , thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to read and connect with my writing. It means a lot to me that it resonated with you. Sending you warmth and gratitude xx
Beautiful, brava. I lost my dad at age 29 for me, 55 for him. I regret not getting to know him more (I was just figuring out who I wanted to be), and my relationship with my mom became distant (my brother had kids, I did not). 25 years later, I’m starting to build a new bond with my mom, and reaching out to my brother. Letting go of the past and focusing on the now…sounds easy but it’s hard work.
Sheila, thank you so much for your heartfelt message and for sharing your experience with me. I’m deeply moved by your reflection on your journey with your dad, your mom, and your brother. It’s incredible that you’re taking steps to rebuild those connections and focus on the present.
I understand that letting go of the past and building new bonds can be challenging, but it sounds like you’re making meaningful progress. Your strength and willingness to work through these emotions are truly inspiring.
Thank you again for your kind words and for connecting with my piece. Sending you all my best as you continue on this path of healing and reconnection. 💕
Loren, you’re absolutely right—walking through life with heavy loads can be incredibly challenging, and finding peace and forgiveness is a significant part of that journey. Real communication indeed takes courage.
I appreciate your thoughtful reflection and your encouragement. Here’s to finding peace and continuing to grow with each step. xx
I related to this. I haven’t spoken to my father in years. He simply doesn’t know how to be a parent.
In my teen years I think I was resentful. As I’ve gotten older, I have more sympathy and realize he’s not a bad person, he just doesn’t know how to communicate.
Several years ago I tried to keep a connection going, and I just felt foolish after he stopped responding. It had happened when I was a kid, but my stepmom had worked on bridging our relationship. When she was not maintaining that, he stopped talking to me again. I took it very personal, but I know now it’s not personal, he just struggles keeping relationships.
I’ve thought about reaching out. It’s been several years, and I didn’t even have him at my wedding. But the thought of dealing with rejection all over again makes me hesitant. I don’t even have his phone number or contact information.
Luna, thank you for sharing your experience with me. It sounds like you've navigated a complex and painful journey with your father. It’s a significant step to move from resentment to understanding and sympathy, recognising that his struggles with communication aren't necessarily a reflection of his feelings towards you.
I can relate to how challenging it must be to consider reaching out again, especially after feeling hurt by past attempts. It’s natural to feel hesitant about facing potential rejection, but your willingness to reflect and possibly reconnect shows a lot of strength and resilience.
If you do decide to reach out and find out how to reach him, perhaps taking it slow and setting small, manageable goals might help ease some of the fear of rejection. Whatever you choose, be gentle with yourself through the process.
Thank you again for your openness. I’m sending you support and wishing you the best as you navigate this challenging situation. xx
I can relate to the loss of family members (brother and father) far too soon. I did make amends to my father and had a loving respectful relationship with both of them before they passed, but that didn’t take away or lessen the experience of grief.
One gift of grief if writers, is we are able to tap into something on a much deeper and expansive level. I’ve also realized after decades since they died, you never get over grief, it becomes a part of your existence and how you experience life.
Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing a part of your story with me. I truly appreciate the openness and vulnerability in your response. It’s heartening to hear that you were able to mend your relationship with your father and build something loving before his passing. That’s such a powerful reminder of the healing that can happen, even in the face of loss.
I completely agree—grief never truly goes away, does it? It becomes woven into the fabric of who we are, shaping how we see the world and how we connect with others. And as writers, as you said so beautifully, it does give us a deeper well to draw from, helping us express those emotions that often feel too big for words.
Thank you again for your thoughtful reflection—it means a lot to me. Sending you warmth as you continue to carry both the pain and the gifts of your journey. x
The entire piece is wonderful and laced with so much hurt and love at the same time. I too have a very estranged relationship with my father and am always wondering how I will handle his death one day. Thank you for writing this.
What an enlightening and profound piece Kathryn. Thanks for sharing. It must have been very lonely to grow up without a mother, a father, and siblings. And also very difficult to lose your father without healing the relationship. Relationships are so complex and the product of so many factors and emotions that trying to understand them from others' perspectives can be difficult. In my view, it requires lots of reflection, understanding, and maybe even some humility.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I'm really touched by your kind words and your understanding of the complexities I shared. Reflecting on my experiences has indeed been a journey, and it's meaningful to hear that my reflections resonate with you. Your empathy and insight are truly appreciated. Thanks again for taking the time to read and respond to my piece!
So powerful. When I read something so profound I’m usually at a loss for words…
Thank you for your kind and powerful words! I’m touched that the piece had such an impact on you. Sometimes it’s hard to find the right words to express deep emotions, and knowing that my writing struck a chord with you means a lot to me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Oh Kathryn, thank you for sharing such a personal story! Your words were eloquent and your voiceover brought even more depth to the reality of what you’ve experienced in this life. 💗
Oh, thank you so much Amy for your lovely comment! I’m genuinely touched by your words and glad to hear that the voiceover added something special to the story. Sharing such personal experiences can be quite vulnerable, and knowing that it resonated with you means a lot to me. I appreciate you taking the time to connect with my story!
you worded this so beautifully. I can reflect on my own experience and feelings through your words. As an only child of divorced parents, I am still struggling to understand how (or IF) the split has affected my dad. At sixteen I reached out to him trying to have a more adult relationship (no mandated visits over here - just radio silence for a decade) and he gave me his work email. He chose not to be my dad and it doesn't make sense. I feel all your pain and I am glad you are shifting your perspective now. Thanks for sharing this insight.
Barbs, Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your own experience with me. I can only imagine how difficult and confusing it must be to navigate the silence and distance with your father. It's incredibly painful when a parent chooses not to show up in the way we need them to, and that absence leaves a deep impact, even when we're trying to make sense of it.
I resonate so much with what you said about trying to understand something that doesn’t fully make sense. It’s heartbreaking to reach out, hoping for connection, and receive little in return. I hope you're able to give yourself grace through this process—it’s not easy, but your willingness to reflect and feel through these emotions is such a powerful testament to your strength.
Thank you again for connecting and sharing your thoughts. I’m sending you all my warmth and understanding as you continue on your journey with this. xx
I relate to this so much. Thanks for putting into words what I couldn’t.
Kate, thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot to hear that my writing resonated with you and helped give voice to something you’ve been feeling. Sometimes, these emotions are so complex that finding the right words can feel impossible, so I’m grateful that my experience could offer some reflection for yours.
Sending you warmth as we both continue navigating these feelings, and thank you again for taking the time to share this with me.
I was able to relate to this. Thanks for sharing your story ❤️🩹
Thank you for sharing this beautifully written, very moving piece 💚
Donna , thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to read and connect with my writing. It means a lot to me that it resonated with you. Sending you warmth and gratitude xx
Thank you for this 💕
Marie, thank you so much for reading and for your kind words 💕. I truly appreciate it! Sending warmth your way xx
Beautiful, brava. I lost my dad at age 29 for me, 55 for him. I regret not getting to know him more (I was just figuring out who I wanted to be), and my relationship with my mom became distant (my brother had kids, I did not). 25 years later, I’m starting to build a new bond with my mom, and reaching out to my brother. Letting go of the past and focusing on the now…sounds easy but it’s hard work.
Thank you for sharing this.💕
Sheila, thank you so much for your heartfelt message and for sharing your experience with me. I’m deeply moved by your reflection on your journey with your dad, your mom, and your brother. It’s incredible that you’re taking steps to rebuild those connections and focus on the present.
I understand that letting go of the past and building new bonds can be challenging, but it sounds like you’re making meaningful progress. Your strength and willingness to work through these emotions are truly inspiring.
Thank you again for your kind words and for connecting with my piece. Sending you all my best as you continue on this path of healing and reconnection. 💕
We walk around with heavy loads. Find peace, as you said. Forgive ourselves. And hopefully not repeat. Real communication takes courage.
Loren, you’re absolutely right—walking through life with heavy loads can be incredibly challenging, and finding peace and forgiveness is a significant part of that journey. Real communication indeed takes courage.
I appreciate your thoughtful reflection and your encouragement. Here’s to finding peace and continuing to grow with each step. xx
I related to this. I haven’t spoken to my father in years. He simply doesn’t know how to be a parent.
In my teen years I think I was resentful. As I’ve gotten older, I have more sympathy and realize he’s not a bad person, he just doesn’t know how to communicate.
Several years ago I tried to keep a connection going, and I just felt foolish after he stopped responding. It had happened when I was a kid, but my stepmom had worked on bridging our relationship. When she was not maintaining that, he stopped talking to me again. I took it very personal, but I know now it’s not personal, he just struggles keeping relationships.
I’ve thought about reaching out. It’s been several years, and I didn’t even have him at my wedding. But the thought of dealing with rejection all over again makes me hesitant. I don’t even have his phone number or contact information.
Luna, thank you for sharing your experience with me. It sounds like you've navigated a complex and painful journey with your father. It’s a significant step to move from resentment to understanding and sympathy, recognising that his struggles with communication aren't necessarily a reflection of his feelings towards you.
I can relate to how challenging it must be to consider reaching out again, especially after feeling hurt by past attempts. It’s natural to feel hesitant about facing potential rejection, but your willingness to reflect and possibly reconnect shows a lot of strength and resilience.
If you do decide to reach out and find out how to reach him, perhaps taking it slow and setting small, manageable goals might help ease some of the fear of rejection. Whatever you choose, be gentle with yourself through the process.
Thank you again for your openness. I’m sending you support and wishing you the best as you navigate this challenging situation. xx
i related to this so much, thank you for sharing
I’m sending so much love Luciana- thank you for reading 🫶🏻
So beautifully written.
I can relate to the loss of family members (brother and father) far too soon. I did make amends to my father and had a loving respectful relationship with both of them before they passed, but that didn’t take away or lessen the experience of grief.
One gift of grief if writers, is we are able to tap into something on a much deeper and expansive level. I’ve also realized after decades since they died, you never get over grief, it becomes a part of your existence and how you experience life.
Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing a part of your story with me. I truly appreciate the openness and vulnerability in your response. It’s heartening to hear that you were able to mend your relationship with your father and build something loving before his passing. That’s such a powerful reminder of the healing that can happen, even in the face of loss.
I completely agree—grief never truly goes away, does it? It becomes woven into the fabric of who we are, shaping how we see the world and how we connect with others. And as writers, as you said so beautifully, it does give us a deeper well to draw from, helping us express those emotions that often feel too big for words.
Thank you again for your thoughtful reflection—it means a lot to me. Sending you warmth as you continue to carry both the pain and the gifts of your journey. x
🙏
The entire piece is wonderful and laced with so much hurt and love at the same time. I too have a very estranged relationship with my father and am always wondering how I will handle his death one day. Thank you for writing this.